In celebration of things Episode 7, I’d thought I’d bring you a miscellany of mirth from a few different sources riffing off of things SW. The above video came to me via my FB friends. It’s so silly, so ridiculous, I just HAD to post it.
Secondly, here’s a damn good rap between two baddies:
Say, how’d you like to try your hand at lightsabering? Turn that otherwise defenseless smartphone into a lethal weapon with this:
Who doesn’t love a love story? Here’s Darth’s turn at happiness…or is it?
May you all force your way in to the nearest box office and see SW7! Happy viewing!
His reputation is evil. Bent on destruction, the Dark Lord exists to exterminate those who refuse to submit to his will. He’s been known to randomly snuff out lives for simple misunderstandings and disagreements. Obliterate entire worlds through that diabolical intergalactic weapon-megastructure-spaceship known as the Death Start. Not one to mess around, this guy doesn’t take nothing from nobody, no how.
You know who I mean.
Yeah, it’s the Darthster. Good Ol’ Vader.
So why is it that this fearsome foe has taken on such a cute and cuddly image? I mean, look at the above picture. I know I’d love to have this on my front lawn, except it’d probably get stolen. It doesn’t end there, however. I’ve looked around just to see the vast selection of cute and cuddly Christmas gifts one could slip under the tree. After all, Thanksgiving is next week and we all know what that means: SHOPPING.
Here’s a few ways that everyone’s favorite baddie has been humiliated through mass marketing.
Who better than to greet our guests with a Darth Vader candy dish? If you think about it, his dark reputation isn’t beyond offering unwelcome visitors with a piece of rejected candy, like all the green Starbursts. He’ll just dare you to take a piece. And hey, if you don’t like it, well, then…complain at your own risk…
What better way to get out of bed in the morning than being strong-armed by Darth? Here he is, marching towards your mattress, ready to hurl you to the floor if you don’t get up already. His chest bears the time, reminding you that if you’re late for your appointment with doom, there’s far worse consequences for you in store.
Brrr…it’s cold out there in galaxies far, far away. What better way to stylishly keep warm and carry our Dark Lord’s message of cheer? This holiday sweater comes in three fashionable colors, and is suitably tacky enough to be seen at the best of Christmas parties.
Aww…Daddy Darth…doesn’t he just make you smile? Taking little Luke out for ice cream, or playing tea party with Leia, he does his best to be attentive, except after a busy day with the twins, and then he conks out, like any Daddy would.
Darth had to start somewhere, even though at his birth he couldn’t possibly know he’d be reborn as a helmeted hellion. I’m not sure what’s more hilarious – a pacifier or the onesies it goes with. Perhaps Luke and Leia wore the second piece?
Darth’ll protect your latest novel or business spreadsheet from ever getting lost…that is, until you forget to take this stick drive out of your pocket and slip those trousers in the wash. Then you’ll face the consequences of the Dark Side.
The next time you tool around the universe in the Death Star, be sure to be prepared with this stylish spinner suitcase. There’s plenty of room for your light saber and all other accoutrements of waging intergalactic Empire wars.
Ah, there’s nothing like being able to relax after a hard day of fighting off your sworn enemies. This chillaxin’ chair offers cushiony comfort for even the toughest of badasses.
Who’s gonna mess with your kid when Darth’s on patrol? The eyes seem a little too weird for me, but that ready-to-go light saber tells me he’s at your kid’s side to fight off the ghosties and goblins lurking under the bed.
C’mon. You. Want. This.
I’m sure Darth’d rather be spinning in his grave with deep humiliation if he only knew he’d be paired with Yoda in a Santa suit. Darth won’t go that far, but he awkwardly holds a candy cane just to show he can be a good sport about these things.
So there you have it! Your must-have Darthness for Darthmas – a holiday EVERYONE can love. Enjoy!
Imagine this: You wanted a big change in your life and, unwittingly, you set out on this epic adventure wherein you witness the death of your mentor, you pick up a woman with danish for hair, you make friends with a giant carpet and a bum on the run. With no marketable skills, somehow you all manage to wreak major damage to a major investment of a major empire. Oh yeah, and there’s this big hulking guy after you. Through pluck and luck, everything works out in the end and you receive official recognition from a whole bunch of people in a very big hall. For all its majesty, there’s something a bit awkward and uncomfortable about it. Hmmm…
Then much, much later, after all those demons have been conquered and the next generation actually admits they might be able to learn a thing for two from you, there’s a bit of tarnish and patina on the legend. Denial plays heavily into what you’re still able to accomplish, but then again, you have luck and pluck, and the once impossible becomes possible again:
Hey, folks! Just keeping you updated on the latest Star Wars controversy as we wait impatiently for the latest, newest incarnation!
J. J. Abrams, the director of Episode 7, makes an appeal to directly to you, the nerds and the geeks (that includes me, my husband and just about our entire social circle) to donate to UNICEF and if you do, you, yes, YOU might get a chance to win a part in “SW7”!
See here for yourself:
From a press release that accompanied the video:
All Wings Report In! On the set of Star Wars: Episode VII, Director J.J. Abrams was interrupted by an X-Wing pilot and rogue robot as he announced the chance for fans to win an advance private screening of Star Wars: Episode VII. “We are so grateful for the support that the fans from over 119 countries have shown for Force for Change,” said Abrams. “As we close this final week, we’ve added an additional prize that allows the fans the opportunity to see the movie early as a thank you for supporting such a great cause as UNICEF’s innovative, lifesaving work for children.” By contributing at any level by July 25th, participants will be eligible for all prizes including a chance to be in the movie.
Now comes the controversy. It appears that the vehicle that J. J. Abrams is standing in front of is not really an X-wing fighter. Even my friend has told me so. It appears to many to be a Z-95 Headhunter. Apparently, this is IMPORTANT.
What do you think? Does the viewing audience/people who claim to be Jedis know their stuff better than J.J? Or is this a genuine case of mistaken identity? Remember, we’re looking into the future here. Could be a whole new class of fighter vehicles!
With the impending arrival of “Star Wars: Episode Seven”, there’s all kinds of stuff being posted on YouTube. My husband sent me one link today and after viewing it, I drooled. If you hadn’t seen this one already, go ahead, take a glimpse:
Note the exquisite detail. Whoever did this is a dedicated geek worthy of award status.
Of course, if you have that, you’re also going to have to look at the leaked TMZ photos of Episode 7, too. Since these have been out for a while and no doubt everyone’s had a look already, I’m including these as a matter of convenience. You know, so you can geek out all in one space.
So. You knew it had to happen. Disney steps into the picture et voila! Yet another film squeezed from the franchise. It’s all over the internet, all over the place in the media and if people still gathered around water coolers, the talk would be rife with what’s going on in that faraway galaxy a long time ago.
“Star Wars” is more than just a movie. It’s a way of life.
Its lingo has insinuated itself into our vocabulary. Its characters are our buddies. And come on, who hasn’t wanted to be Darth Vader? Who hasn’t sounded like him during cold season? There are people who get into fistfights over what made more of an impact in our culture: “Star Wars” or “Star Trek” (My answer? Both have).
I’m a purist when it comes to my “Star Wars.” I prefer the unadulterated version, the one I went nuts over in high school. Twenty-something years later when I sat down in the movies to watch the “updated” version, my friends and I, all dedicated “SW” fans, were at first fascinated, then puzzled at the unnecessary add-ons meant to enhance the film. They didn’t.
Especially outrageous was adding to the very end the new and improved Anakin Skywalker, the non-actor Hayden Christensen. Not that the other guy really brought a lot to the role (we just see his cauliflower head at the end), but he pretty much matched the person you saw. HC bears absolutely no resemblance to Darth as he aged. I mean, they didn’t change how Yoda looked, did they?
It is indeed interesting that the original trio of superstars are going to have an actual role. How could they not be included? While no one expects Carrie Fisher to roam around in a skimpy Jabba-Jawdropper skirt and bra, I sure hope they give her a position of importance. That goes for Han Solo, too. Does anyone think they got married? Had kids? Pay a mortgage or deal with unruly teenagers with a drug habit? Or maybe neither of their kids turned out to be a Jedi, inheriting Solo’s traits. Sure, he redeemed himself in the end, but he started off as a ne’er do well in compromising circumstances.
However, I’m hoping everyone cheers for the real hero in this drama, Mark Hamill. He paid a big price to be Luke. He’s every bit of a good actor as the rest of the crew, yet drew the short stick. Forever stereotyped, he developed the Richard Thomas syndrome, forever being attached to a role that everyone loved and no one forgot (RT was John Boy Walton, remember?). Carrie Fisher had a bunch of good roles and went on to become a very respected script doctor. Harrison Ford played yet another franchise character and despite that, still took on many roles, some sci-fi based, others not. Why did Mark get left out in the cold? Did he suffer from Darth’s curse?
Still, I know I’ll be one of those ticket holders standing patiently in line, waiting my turn to see just exactly what “Star Wars VII” has to offer. No, I won’t camp out and swap war stories with the rest of the geeks in line. I will, however, cheer my head off watching the iconic logo flash on the screen to the familiar theme, and scan the storyline roll, while in the back of my head I’ll wonder: what ever happened to Billy Dee Williams?
Moon, Stars and Beyond 