So there I was at work the other day, embroiled in my task. A coworker friend pats me on the shoulder and says, “Hey, what did you think of the trailer?”
To be honest, I was so into what I was doing I had absolutely no idea of what he was talking about. In fact (and I’m rather ashamed and embarrassed to admit this), I envisioned some sort of Casita-type or mesh-wire thing filled with junk or landscaping equipment.
“What trailer?” I say.
My friend nearly choked me with his eyes. “You got to be kidding me, right?”
Lord, oh lord how can I be so absolutely clueless? I stop what I’m doing and after that first flush of major humiliation, my mind goes into search mode. Within nanoseconds, it retrieves the teaser vid I’d seen the second it hit the cablewaves.
“Oh, that.” Nice save. “Of COURSE. THE trailer. Where Rey goes all Matrix on a TIE-fighter. Yeah, I saw it.”
Naturally, this leads into a spirited discourse on minutiae featured in the “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” trailer. Yeah, sure, we’re at work, but this is MUCH more important than our tasks at hand. And come on, what else matters?
I’ve been a fan of Star Wars ever since my friend Debbie and I walked into the Beach Twin as 14-year-olds with nothing else to do but see this film we kind of heard that was pretty okay. Our lives were transformed forever once we stepped out of the theater. I don’t think we ever took our eyes off the screen for a second. Every sequel since I’ve eagerly waited and watched, except for Episodes I, II and III, which, as you must all agree, sucked. And quite honestly, I liked IV, V and VI just the way they were, not with all those enhancements and ESPECIALLY not with that ersatz Anakin Skywalker stuck in over the one who really should be there.
I’ve actually enjoyed the rest of the Star Wars enterprise. It’s a brain vacation in a theater seat, as I become entirely absorbed in whatever those Rebels, First Order and Empire folks get themselves mixed up in.
My son and me, geeking out over BB-8 at NY ComicCon
I know this year’s New York ComicCon’s going to have an amazing exhibition on “SW:TROS” and I can’t wait. That’ll only get me even more hepped up for its December 20th premiere.
And if this one’s anything like the latest entries in the saga, I’ll be anything but disappointed.
Despite all of the recent hubbub about the latest entry in the Star Wars saga, I’m sure Darth and Yoda (referred to and briefly seen, respectively in TLJ) would still prefer if all of you laid down your light sabers and made peace with your worlds. After all, this is the season to be cheerful and light, isn’t it? So grab a cup or two of Bantha milk and raise a toast to a continuing storyline with many more adventures to go.
And if you want a comparison, look at Star Trek. Gosh, that’s been around since, what, 1967? You want to talk about inconsistencies? Check out the original Enterprise vs. any later timeline (or earlier timeline, if you count the reboot movies) and that ship’s got more design changes than Padma does in Episode III.
Here’s my holiday wish for all you Star Warriors and fellow space junkies: Be grateful you have a Star Wars to watch. Imagine how barren our world would be without it.
Now go out and celebrate the holiday and watch your favorite Star Wars episode(s) like a real Rebel.
WARNING: THERE ARE A FEW SPOILERS HERE. DON’T READ UNLESS YOU WANT TO…
My, my. Whoever thought that a film that takes place a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away could generate such controversy?
I’m talking about “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” of course. And if you’ve been paying attention to all of the back-ended reviews, you’ll either see lofty praise or vitriolic rants. Check out Rotten Tomatoes, for example. There you’ll find a 93% critics rating, but a 54% audience disapproval rate. I’ve read quite a few and one thing is certain: many of the Star Warriors want their characters and plots to remain static and predictable. Or incapable of growing and changing. God forbid if you’re a new character added into the plot and worse if you’re a female (that would seem to go for Kathleen Kennedy too, according to one audience reviewer).
I can’t even quote some of the quotes I read from RT, but for simplicity’s sake, here a brief negative review which sums up some of those who went on for thousands of words:
This is not a Star Wars movie. If you are a Star Wars fan who liked the previous movies for their themes and messages, and not simply the explosions and spacecraft, you will not like this movie. Rian Johnson has little or no understanding of, or simply does not care about, what made Star Wars special. This movie was a non-descript space action movie with the depth of a Transformers movie. – One star review, Adam D
And here’s a positive review that sums it all up:
I’m seeing a lot of crybabies on here who’s preconceived notion of what they thought should happen in Star Wars 30+ years ABY was shattered in TLJ. It was a good movie. Without nitpicking every scene it was good and entertaining. The account between the main protagonists Rey and Kylo was on point and Luke was great as well. I agree I was a little bit bagels by the casino scene and was really disappointed that we regressed back to full FYI scenes, but it didn’t ruin the whole movie. The fact that the movie was unpredictable was a good thing. After seeing Snoke’s identity revealed theory videos on my YouTube news feed for the past 2 years, to see him get killed off without explanation was kind of funny to me in a good way. If they came out and said he was Darth Plagues it would have been completely anti climatic. The fact is, this movie has stirred up raw emotions of anger and sadness amongst viewers and that is a good thing. A movie that makes us feel human is good in my book. – Four star view, Nik M
I can’t agree with Nik M’s assessment more, especially the last two highlighted lines.
Of course I saw “The Last Jedi” on opening weekend – I’d never miss it! I totally geeked out at New York Comic Con and visited the amazing exhibition presented there. Been watching trailers and keeping up with theories and more. My take? I loved it. And while I agree the casino scene wasn’t entirely necessary, it didn’t exactly ruin the movie, either. Nor did I mind the mild info dump scenes either – they served as illustrations to the plot. What really grabbed me was the attention to detail that didn’t seem to be present in other SW films. And yes, there was inside humor that either went ignored or unappreciated by the nay-sayers who pooh-poohed this film. My favorite goes something like this:
Luke: You look different…
Leia: Yes. I changed my hair.
Luke: I like it.
(not verbatim, but close enough)
I laughed out loud during that exchange. If you looked closely at Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher, especially their eyes, you’ll catch a twinkle in there, almost as if it were ad libbed.
And if the negative reviewers want to get all bent out of shape over plot details, let them. Why aren’t they complaining over past film plot incredulities such as Leia handling the complete obliteration of her planet with barely a sigh, or Darth Vader, a person who’s supposed to feel the force so strong yet he has no idea he has a daughter (or seems to, anyway) who also possesses said force or can’t find either kid. Darth doesn’t even feel Leia’s force when she’s captured and standing right next to him! Why would he keep something like that secret? And if Kylo Ren and Rey project and touch each other’s hands, why didn’t that ever happen with Darth and his kids? Clearly when the original stories were written, those plot developments weren’t even taken into consideration and stuck with the bigger story.
Look, “Star Wars: The Last Jedi” and all of the others are STORIES. Episodes I, II & III were an aberration, a weak attempt on constructing an origin story. These films/stories spawned a giant empire that all of us Star Warriors support. And I certainly don’t believe anyone who says they’re through with the franchise aren’t waiting for the next episode and/or won’t see it. So get over yourselves, have some popcorn and watch the film over again. You know you will.
So yeah, I braced the crowds and the stifling heat of the Jacob Javitz Center in NYC to witness one of the greatest events of our lifetime, the Star Wars/The Last Jedi exhibition. I did lots of other things too, but I’ll get to those in a later post.
And sure, I can tell you all about the neat stuff I saw in there, but why bother? I’ll just show you. Here’s what I stood in a very long but moving well line on Saturday. This is a selection from the exhibit. All pictures and copy are from the Star Wars/The Last Jedi exhibition, sponsored by Verizon.
Here’s a preview of one of the movie posters for The Last Jedi. I felt it especially poignant since the woman depicted has departed our plane for other galaxies far, far away.
It says, “First Order Tie Fighter Pilot Uniform” Exhibit 1 – Tie fighter pilots were one of the key pieces of the first order’s overwhelmingly powerful military apparatus. Potential pilots were selected from the ranks as children and vigorously trained for years to shape their reflexes, visual acuity, and tactical instincts to extraordinary levels. Successful Tie Fighter pilots would go on to hunt enemy craft, protect bases, patrol sensitive territory and escort larger craft throughout the galaxy.”
There is glare on the photo but what I can make out says, “First Order Stormtrooper Blaster Rifle -Exhibit C – This…blaster rifle is the standard-issue weapon for…order stormtroopers. Here shown with attached butt stock a potent…weapon. The…is…durable and reliable, enabling stormtroopers to act as relentless enforcers of the First Order’s will.” (sorry if there are errors in my copy – difficult to read).
These are Kylo’s Tie Fighter (left) and Resistance Bomber (middle).
“Kylo’s Tie Fighter – Exhibit A-1- Kylo Res has inherited amazing piloting skills from his father, though he uses these abilities to pursue the First Order’s enemies.”
“Resistance Bomber – Exhibit A-2- Now reinforced with new combat craft, the resistance fleet dispatches hardy bombers into battle with the First Order fleet, escorted by swift star fighters, the munitions-laden carrier ships drop powerful proton bombs onto their capital ship targets.”
(As read from the copy)
“First Order Flame Trooper Helmet – Exhibit D-1 – Resistance fighters coined the terms “roasters,” “Hotheads” or “Burnouts” to describe this specialized class of stormtrooper. Flametroopers, equipped with flamethrowers and fireproof armor, are feared for their ability to lay waste to the battlefield and flush out resistance entrenchments.”
“First Order Stormtrooper Helmet – Exhibit D-2 – The most dangerous fighting force in the galaxy, First Order stormtroopers are trained from birth to ruthlessly enforce the will of the First Order. ‘A real stormtrooper has no room for sympathy. A real stormtrooper is the extension of the First Order, of Supreme Leader Snsoke’s will, nothing less.’ – Captain Phasma”
“Elite Praetorian Guard Helmet – Exhibit D-3 – The mysterious and fearsome figures known as the Praetorian Guard serve as Supreme Leader Snoke’s personal protectors. Eight in total, their features are completely hidden behind striking red armor meant to evoke memories of the Emperor’s Royal Guard.”
“Kylo Ren’s Lightsaber Hilt – Exhibit D-4 – This lightsaber hilt belonged to Master of the Knights of Ren, Kylo Ren. The distinctive cross guard design, which results in two additional red plasma blades emerging from either side of the hilt, was engineered by Kylo Ren himself.”
“Kylo Ren’s Helmet – Exhibit d-5 – Kylo Ren is the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa, protege of Luke Skywalker, and eventual master of the Knights of Ren. He is known as the “Jedi Killer” among the rank and file of the First Order. His helmet was crafted to mask his visage and voice, concealing his identity as he delves further into the power of the Dark Side of the Force
“Poe Dameron’s Resistance X-Wing Pilot Uniform – Exhibit H – Hailed as the very best pilot in the Resistance, the brash but resolute Poe Dameron quickly rose through the Resistance ranks and became one of Leia Organa’s most trusted operatives. Dameron commands both Red and Blue Starfighter squadrons and flies under the call sign Black Leader, based on his customized, dark-hulled X-wing, Black One. ‘I can fly anything.’ – Poe Dameron.”
Well, it’s been a long and dreary summer, folks. Much too much to go into right now, but let’s say life’s been unloading a bunch of unwanted detritus onto my lap. I could tell you what that all means, but who wants to complain about how bad things have been when fresh images of Harvey flood the internet? No, my life’s not that bad, and I pray for those whose lives hang in the balance.
I promise a grand return to writing my official blog here, but in the meantime, as a way of getting started, I’m posting three videos my fellow geek D.A. Cruz has created. He’s very much the up-and-coming game and vid reviewer, so please check these out:
I got excited when the yearly reminder to sign up for October’s NY Comic Con appeared in my inbox. For years, I swore I’d love to attend but life always interfered somehow: had to work and couldn’t get off, or something was up with the kid, or after all the bills got paid, the till’s empty and so were my pockets.
This year, however, was different. The stars aligned in my favor. For once.
Upon receiving the notice I needed to fill in my fan verification form, a method of preregistration, I counted the days until the site opened. As one can imagine, in years past, tickets to this event were hotter than asphalt in Florida on an August afternoon, and acquiring them often required a Ferengi’s ability to pilfer, smuggle and trade. So who can blame the folks at NYCC to try a new method of ticket selling so that anyone who wanted to attend actually could…legitimately?
Once the Fan Verification site went live, I filled in my name, my husband’s name and my son’s. It asked for email addresses. Since I was treating the family for tickets, I put my own email in all three. I’ve purchased tickets for various and sundry trade shows in the same manner, so why should this be any different?
Several days later, I received a notice that tickets were now open for sale for verified fans. After waiting in an electronic queue for well over an hour (lucky I hit the button right as it came live!), I purchased three tickets and was instructed that I’d need to go to another site to complete the sale. I got excited. Not only was my family going, I planned to surprise my son with his ticket, since the event takes place right before his birthday.
As I opened the site’s page to complete the sale, I noticed my email address went in on my designated field, but not on my husband’s or son’s. Strange, I thought, and went to read up on what I might be doing wrong. As it turned out, each person needs his or her own email address. What? Aren’t I buying the tickets? How come? From NYCC’s twitter feed, I quickly learned that many boyfriends, girlfriends, uncles, aunts and cosplay girls and boys believed as I did.
Suddenly, we were all shut out of living our dream. No 2016 NY ComicCon for us.
I called. The helpful and polite person on the other end verified what in my heart I realized was true: every ticket needs its own email address. If not, we’re very sorry, but we have to refund your money.
First, I wanted to cry.
Then scream.
Then kick myself for not following directions the way I should.
Enthusiasm and past Javitz Center purchasing experiences clouded my decision-making for this event. I hated myself for not following the directions carefully, but then again, why shouldn’t one person be able to buy a couple of tickets? It comes down to a factor more than just hoping to surprise someone with a nice treat: fraud. This convention is so rife with people elbowing out the legit crowd with overpriced scalped tickets, the powers that be decided to try another way.
Unfortunately, there were an awful lot of people like me, and all of us, including me, let NY ComicCon folks know how devastated we all were. All we wanted was a good time, fanning it up with our ilk, grabbing autographs and a pile of merch to take home and savor.
Yet, inside of me, a gut feeling told me to hang on. Just wait, it said, there’s going to be good new yet…
And there was.
Out of the blue, I received a nice, polite email from NY ComicCon. Apparently, they heard us. Chose to do the right thing. Gave us a second chance.
We had a brief window to verify the fans we wanted to purchase tickets for, only 24 hours, but that was more than enough time. I scrambled online and fan verified both my husband and kid. Twenty-four hours after that, I purchased tickets for all three of us.
My heartbreak turned out to be a ticket to heaven. Now we’re all going!
His reputation is evil. Bent on destruction, the Dark Lord exists to exterminate those who refuse to submit to his will. He’s been known to randomly snuff out lives for simple misunderstandings and disagreements. Obliterate entire worlds through that diabolical intergalactic weapon-megastructure-spaceship known as the Death Start. Not one to mess around, this guy doesn’t take nothing from nobody, no how.
You know who I mean.
Yeah, it’s the Darthster. Good Ol’ Vader.
So why is it that this fearsome foe has taken on such a cute and cuddly image? I mean, look at the above picture. I know I’d love to have this on my front lawn, except it’d probably get stolen. It doesn’t end there, however. I’ve looked around just to see the vast selection of cute and cuddly Christmas gifts one could slip under the tree. After all, Thanksgiving is next week and we all know what that means: SHOPPING.
Here’s a few ways that everyone’s favorite baddie has been humiliated through mass marketing.
Who better than to greet our guests with a Darth Vader candy dish? If you think about it, his dark reputation isn’t beyond offering unwelcome visitors with a piece of rejected candy, like all the green Starbursts. He’ll just dare you to take a piece. And hey, if you don’t like it, well, then…complain at your own risk…
What better way to get out of bed in the morning than being strong-armed by Darth? Here he is, marching towards your mattress, ready to hurl you to the floor if you don’t get up already. His chest bears the time, reminding you that if you’re late for your appointment with doom, there’s far worse consequences for you in store.
Brrr…it’s cold out there in galaxies far, far away. What better way to stylishly keep warm and carry our Dark Lord’s message of cheer? This holiday sweater comes in three fashionable colors, and is suitably tacky enough to be seen at the best of Christmas parties.
Aww…Daddy Darth…doesn’t he just make you smile? Taking little Luke out for ice cream, or playing tea party with Leia, he does his best to be attentive, except after a busy day with the twins, and then he conks out, like any Daddy would.
Darth had to start somewhere, even though at his birth he couldn’t possibly know he’d be reborn as a helmeted hellion. I’m not sure what’s more hilarious – a pacifier or the onesies it goes with. Perhaps Luke and Leia wore the second piece?
Darth’ll protect your latest novel or business spreadsheet from ever getting lost…that is, until you forget to take this stick drive out of your pocket and slip those trousers in the wash. Then you’ll face the consequences of the Dark Side.
The next time you tool around the universe in the Death Star, be sure to be prepared with this stylish spinner suitcase. There’s plenty of room for your light saber and all other accoutrements of waging intergalactic Empire wars.
Ah, there’s nothing like being able to relax after a hard day of fighting off your sworn enemies. This chillaxin’ chair offers cushiony comfort for even the toughest of badasses.
Who’s gonna mess with your kid when Darth’s on patrol? The eyes seem a little too weird for me, but that ready-to-go light saber tells me he’s at your kid’s side to fight off the ghosties and goblins lurking under the bed.
C’mon. You. Want. This.
I’m sure Darth’d rather be spinning in his grave with deep humiliation if he only knew he’d be paired with Yoda in a Santa suit. Darth won’t go that far, but he awkwardly holds a candy cane just to show he can be a good sport about these things.
So there you have it! Your must-have Darthness for Darthmas – a holiday EVERYONE can love. Enjoy!
I’m not going to lie. This has been an awful year for me. Annus horribilus. I’m not sorry to see 2014 go; in fact, I’ll be personally booting it out the door come 11:59:59 on 12/31/14. I can’t wait.
That doesn’t mean I’m going to go all Bah Humbug during the holidays, however. In fact, as a result of this terrible year, I’m determined to finish it on a positive note, or even a humorous one.
Sometimes when the self-spirit’s lacking, one has to dig deep to find the certain stuff to pull it up and out. Get that old smile back on the face. Muster up some cheer. To that end, I started with lights. Dug out the old LED outdoor string and got to work putting them on the gutters for all to see. Have a few strands of solar lights and stuck them on the bushes on the front lawn, since there’s no outlets there. Already, the house looked much better.
We did notice a couple of our older strings weren’t working, so Andrew and I went over to Lowe’s and bought replacements. Hanging in the aisle was this:
It’s a Chewbacca stocking. Andrew walks over to it and says, “I don’t care how much it costs” and throws it into our basket, along with our new color icicle lights.
The next day, I’m in Target, wandering the aisles for a few last-minute gifts and holiday supplies. I’m looking for Archer Farms Caramel Chocolate Popcorn mix when I happen upon this:
I say to myself, “I don’t care how much it costs” and toss it into the basket. It’s truly horrible, but I don’t care.
We’re the sort of family that gets its tree a few days before Christmas, so that the holiday actually has some kind of special anticipation (as opposed to those who put theirs up right after Thanksgiving, a month before). I went to the local farmers market. They always have great trees at good prices. Of course, they also have all sorts of other things that go along with holiday decorating too, so I saw this:
Oh boy. This was hard. Oh, these would look soooooooooo fantastic on the lawn, now, wouldn’t they? A storm trooper with a candy cane? R2D2 with a Santa cap? I already had a holiday Yoda, but he looked kinda cute, almost determined to celebrate Christmas with great force. One look at the price, though, and I wasn’t about to shell out $59.95 when the tree cost half that. Sensibly, I moved on.
So the other day, my son wanted to go Christmas shopping. Again, we’re back at Target and he spots these:
Oh, heck, they were only $10.00. On clearance. Such a bargain! What better way to drink egg nog? Of course, the bottom of the glass had the expected caveat:
NOT A TOY. Well, it’s not like we go tossing these things around. Who’d even think a glass is?
So here we are, putting nice things on tree. It’s all sparkle and light.
Yoda fits in so well with all the other sparkly bits and such. He’s so serene, stuck in the branches:
It’s as if he’s the keeper of the holiday spirit, beckoning joy and light, and be of good cheer.
So I will.
So should you.
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Festive Festivus, Sassy Saturnalia, Kickin’ Kwanza, Happy New Year and all of that, to all of you.
Imagine this: You wanted a big change in your life and, unwittingly, you set out on this epic adventure wherein you witness the death of your mentor, you pick up a woman with danish for hair, you make friends with a giant carpet and a bum on the run. With no marketable skills, somehow you all manage to wreak major damage to a major investment of a major empire. Oh yeah, and there’s this big hulking guy after you. Through pluck and luck, everything works out in the end and you receive official recognition from a whole bunch of people in a very big hall. For all its majesty, there’s something a bit awkward and uncomfortable about it. Hmmm…
Then much, much later, after all those demons have been conquered and the next generation actually admits they might be able to learn a thing for two from you, there’s a bit of tarnish and patina on the legend. Denial plays heavily into what you’re still able to accomplish, but then again, you have luck and pluck, and the once impossible becomes possible again:
You’re sitting in your favorite chair, reclining and relaxing to that iconic sci-fi morality tale trilogy, Star Wars. You’re petting the cat, eating popcorn as you watch planets blow up, walkers trip and burn, even the Death Star going ka-blammo! It’s all good fun, and you even find yourself cheering.
But did you even consider the toll? I hesitate to say “human” toll…many species lives were lost. And it’s kind of sad, don’t you think? But then again, it’s all in the name of a heroic cause, and now, if you click on the above link, you’ll have your opportunity to cheer on the death and destruction, as Digg has tallied all 2,005,645,868 deaths in the original Star Wars trilogy.
Quite a feat, I’m sure, but worthwhile, just in case you wondered…and admit it…you have…
Moon, Stars and Beyond 